Thursday, June 10, 2010

Are you there God? It's me Jason Statham

I like to think that just like little Margaret from the Judy Blume novels, Jason Statham also corresponds with the Almighty. The one 
difference between Margaret and Jason is that she is fictional and he is not. Margaret is a young girl who has important life questions that she needs help answering and understanding. Jason is a chiseled bald Adonis showing everyone how crazy his life is through the world of motion pictures.

Through Jason's many documentaries centered around his life, we have learned of his time in Great Britain as a would-be entrepreneur and gangster (Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels; Snatch), his time working on colonizing Mars (Ghosts of Mars), his freelance delivery service which is more of a docu-trilogy (Transporter 1, 2, & 3), his love of L.A.R.Ping aka live action role playing (In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale), but most notably his bare bones tell all documentaries known as Crank and Crank: High Voltage.

In Crank we learn of Jason's bad side. I have to say in this over-saturated world of reality TV, it is comforting to know there are still good people out there who want to share their lives with others, be it the good or the bad. Crank touches on Jason's exploits in underworld crime, drug use, & public sex. It is the first in what I hope will become a trilogy, and only offers a glimpse into the life of Jason Statham. But, It is Crank: High Voltage that really shows us who Jason truly is. Jason is a man devoted to his woman, Amy Smart; a man with bad luck; and ultimately a man with a strong heart.

Crank: High Voltage is an almost unbelievable account of a day in the life of Jason Statham. (Kiefer Sutherland wouldn't know what to do with a day like this one.) They must have shot so much footage for Crank that they decided to make two movies out of it because High Voltage starts right where Crank ended. In the first Jason had just fallen out of an airplane and fell to the ground alive. He is then abducted and taken to a massage parlor where his kidnappers remove his heart, and replace it with an artificial one. Understandably, this does not sit well with Statham. He leaps from the makeshift operating table and proceeds to kill all who get in his way.

Out in the world again Statham vows to get his heart back. (Wizard of Oz reference? I think so.) With a quick call to Dwight Yoakam, his family doctor, Statham is brought up to speed on his artificial heart. To live Statham must boost his adrenaline to keep his heart...wait, that was the other movie...uh, this one he must get electrically charged to keep the artificial heart going. Once the battery pack to the heart is destroyed, Statham has to find new and creative ways to be charged, be it a taser from the police, static electricity from sex with Amy Smart, or a car battery from a couple of neighborhood vatos. With each and every charge, Statham gets closer and closer to finding his real heart.

Crank: High Voltage is the story of one man beating the odds. A true life affirming story that will keep you near the edge of your seat.

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